You’ve found love, now what next? The fairy tales always end with the tag line “…and they lived happily ever after”, but when reality hits, you realize that’s the biggest crock of shit. Nothing ever prepares you for how mad you’d get when he does something to irritate you. Nothing sets you up for how he takes the smallest issues so serious and decides to make the life changing issues so negligible. No one lets you in on the joke of his snoring and how he ticks off all your pet peeves. No one ever reveals to you how much you’d want to smother him with a pillow when you’re lying by his side some nights. Even if they did, their words probably flew over your head. You’re left in a daze because you don’t know where to start from half the time.

Then, he does something so amazing, like send you a text message out of the blue when you’re having a hard day at work saying: You’re always on my mind…I hope you’re doing good…Miss you babe. Like when you’re both asleep, and in his sleep, he reaches for your hand and wraps himself up in your arms because that’s where he feels safest. Like when he buys you a Superman mug for Christmas and presents it to you saying, ‘’I got you this mug because you’re my Superman, you do everything you can to make things right for me, so anytime you see this mug, I want you to know that this is what I think of you.”

The same way no one prepares you for the messy things is the way the amazing moments take you entirely by surprise.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m the world’s biggest sap. I love romantic comedies and romance novels. My music usually gets the response: “Which kain woman music be this?” I’m a man who is completely in love with love. So what do I do when I’m faced with the downside of love? I look at the man I’m with and remind myself why I chose him out of all the others in the first place. Every relationship is definitely going to have its tough times. But at the end of the day, what keep you grounded are the foundation you built it on and the strength of the couple. Some people basically rely on the other person to be strong for both of them (this is why when you’re looking for a serious relationship, you should look for someone who’s as grounded as you are mentally or you just might find yourself standing all alone when the strong winds come), and that’s not the best at all.

So, it’s the season of love. Don’t forget to be good to your lover. Buy him or her gifts (please not underwear, that route has been overused and abused). Take him or her somewhere nice and special. Be amazing and on your best behaviour because anyone who has to deal with your ego and insecurities on a daily basis deserves a break. Cook dinner. Do something extraordinary. Make it amazing.

If you’re in the same boat as me today – single and far away from your friends – it’s not the end of the world. Simply take a deep breath and be good to yourself, because until you realize the power of self-love, you will never be able to love anyone enough to make them completely happy. Just chill out and take yourself on a date. Masturbate even (it’s all part of self-love *wink*). You deserve happiness, and it starts with you.

Happy Valentine.

Written by Lothario

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1. I remember the first day I agreed to risk meeting you after months of chatting online. There was no rush. There was no anticipation or excitement. I had given


  1. Raj
    February 14, 07:01 Reply

    I want a love so deep the ocean will be jealous.
    The above wish is one population romantic quote I love. I crave for and I know I will someday have. I can’t be the only one who who likes this. Someone out there,likes me

  2. Raj
    February 14, 07:02 Reply

    The way I want to be liked.

    • doe
      February 14, 07:37 Reply

      We can work that out ?

  3. Mandy
    February 14, 07:45 Reply

    This day should hurry past abeg. I love myself, but I don’t love all the ways today is going to showcase other people’s love. #TeamSingleAndSoNotBitter 🙁

  4. Geeluv
    February 14, 08:30 Reply

    “single and far away from your friends”. That’s my condition right now… when will Love ever work out for me??? ?

  5. papasmurf
    February 14, 09:06 Reply

    My Dear Lothario,

    “If you’re in the same boat as me today – single and far away from your friends – it’s not the end of the world. Simply take a deep breath and be good to yourself, because until you realize the power of self-love, you will never be able to love anyone enough to make them completely happy”
    Thank You for such inspiring words… Especially for those who feel their self-worth is dependent on someone else.
    Bless your kind heart love!

  6. Dickson Clement
    February 14, 09:36 Reply

    And call your parents today too, tell them how you love them and how amazing they are! Call your friends and family! Do something special for them too! Love should be for all the people that you love! Not for Bae alone. If you are single, take yourself out or give urself a treat. Ain’t nofin Berra than self love.

  7. Colossus
    February 14, 11:30 Reply

    Good one. Thanks for the reminder on how tough it actually is to love. Happy valentine, may love fine you.

  8. Zol
    February 14, 12:01 Reply

    Child, bye! For some reason, I honestly believe love isn’t for me.
    Today, I’ll just go over to this guys house, he’s a good cook and we’ll get high together, sounds good enough for me.

    • Chandler B.
      February 14, 18:20 Reply

      Food and high?! What more could a nigga ask for.

  9. Khaleesi
    February 14, 12:28 Reply

    I’ve always hated St Valentine’s day, i guess it comes from growing up watching straight people express their love openly, knowing i didnt fit into all that and feeling awkward. I usually marked the day by burying my nose deep in a book and waiting for the day to end. Thank God it falls on a Sunday this year!

    • Pink Panther
      February 15, 02:18 Reply

      So as it was Sunday, what was the alternative to love? Church? 😀

  10. Brian Collins
    February 15, 17:52 Reply

    I have never celebrated valentine with a loved one before and I am what you could call a sappy sap. What is wrong with me?

  11. peaches
    February 17, 17:37 Reply

    My phone was off on this day coz apart from dad who called me in the wee hours of the morning,and told me he loved me, and passed the phone to mum,who made me get all emotional, i knew nobody else would dial my phone number. so i texted n switched off and slept. that z why i missed this. #Singleninterested but am not broken.?

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