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  1. doe eyed monster
    April 19, 06:38 Reply

    Why do I have a feeling I know this person?
    Okay, here is the thing, most of us have had that struggle when we were coming to terms with ourselves, especially for those with religious backgrounds, we felt we were all shades of wrong(some still do) …
    We wept and cried and changed and all that.. .we tried to pray the gay away.. .but here we are.. Still gay…

    I met someone like this recently, I dint realise he was battling his sexuality till I invited him for a church program and since then, it’s been down the hill… He says and does most things a typical “newbie” would do… One minute says he loves you, the next, says you pressurised him into saying it. And you are just like “nigga, wtf!!?” .
    My friends say I should leave him, but I keep asking myself, would I have wanted to be left alone when I was a “newbie” too? …fine, I dint do all the drama, I read a whole lot…its in my research I found kitodiaries and it has helped a whole lot….
    I have tried helping him, sending links from kitodiaries as far back as possible, but he read two of them and said I was not helping him, that if I was his friend, I would be on his side and fight it… I kept telling him how he would be a lot happier and stop suffering his bouts of depression.
    I don’t want to leave him for the “wolves” to get hold of him, but at the same time, he prays against me.. while I think it would be easy to laugh at his internalised homophobia which is just growing, how do I make sure we don’t have another lost soul out there… Cause this is how it all starts, next thing you know, we have another kito case on our hands.

    • Jide
      April 19, 08:05 Reply

      Thank you. Idk if you know this person but this is like a routine with him. He starts a conversation, you try to help him as much as you can, next thing he says is “never mind, thank you”. This can happen three times in a day.

      It’s really exhausting. I wish someone else more knowledgeable than i am would come and help with answers to his questions.

      • Gad
        April 19, 11:41 Reply

        Natural things speaks of the invincible. I believe that God has provided all we need to answer life, s questions and solve problems. Maybe, our friend has not taken note of any of these things. Someone should point him to them. However, the truth is that while it will take the guidance of friends and people around to bring someone on to the right track, some cannot accept such help. In fact the more one tries to help the more one pushes them further away. There are people who are tailored towards self-discovery therefore anyone that cares to help should be very diplomatic and careful.

      • doe eyed monster
        April 19, 12:23 Reply

        I feel it’s the same person.. It’s exhausting.. .One is just tempted to avoid the whole drama but then again, you can’t help but see him as a big baby who needs guidance and direction.
        The annoying thing is he would keep falling into the hands of wrong people and blame it all on himself for being gay. Hating himself further. I wish I had like a manual he could read “how to be gay for dummies.. ” lol

  2. Mandy
    April 19, 06:46 Reply

    And he’s not only plagued by IH, he clearly is also ignorant on the issue of mental health and why therapists are important.
    This dude still has a long way to go. A lot of mending to do.

  3. Absalom
    April 19, 07:37 Reply

    Doe Eyed Monster has said most of what I wanted to.

    Granted, it can be exhausting having a fellow gay person try to “drag you back”, but to move forward, we can’t afford to ignore “going back” from time to time to educate etc. Of course, some people cannot be “saved”, but let it not be for lack of trying.

  4. Amon
    April 19, 08:44 Reply

    The madness of it all

  5. elikem
    April 19, 09:23 Reply

    sometimes I think we have to hold more empathy for those still struggling to come to acceptance. smirking about Internalised homophobia isnt always the best case. just because we have come to accept ourselves shld not make us superior. yes, stupidity shld not be tolerated but some empathy wld not cost us anything.

  6. Francis
    April 19, 10:10 Reply

    Shoutout to all the patient folks out there. You guys are freaking amazing and may God continue to bless your hustle

  7. Colossus
    April 19, 10:55 Reply

    Some went through this phase, some didn’t. Was this post made to educate or to mock?

  8. Eli
    April 19, 14:20 Reply

    Someone asks for help and you throw IH , KITO DIARIES AND A PSYCHIATRIST at him. Is this really the way? And then to post tis here for mockery!? This is unfortunate. Even if you don’t want to get involved, just say you can’t help and move on. in my opinion, this is too low..

    • Jide
      April 19, 18:56 Reply

      Please shut up if you haven’t read the entire conversation. Bloody know it all.

      The only reason why this part was posted was because of his reply towards the “read kito diaries” message.

    • Lorde
      April 20, 07:05 Reply

      As much as taking it easy is impt here….it important to tell him what he’s got and ask if he needs help…..professional help…but the “I’m dead” part was savage tho??

  9. Bryce
    April 20, 00:10 Reply

    Making mockery of someone who needs your help?.

  10. Lorde
    April 20, 07:02 Reply

    Lol…..textbook crazy…..

  11. WhoIsUgo
    April 20, 14:02 Reply

    I don’t know why/how but I’ve never found it hard to accept my sexuality. It’s as normal as anything to me.

  12. Omiete
    April 20, 15:52 Reply

    Most people have problem accepting themselves let’s not judge them but let’s be patient with them. @doe eyed just leave him to his conversion so that if it fails he won’t say it’s because of you

    • doe eyed monster
      April 21, 12:26 Reply

      True that.. .eventually, he would blame it all on me. Maybe this is the point I just answer his questions and don’t go any further. He seems pretty naive. A guy flirts with him and he says he felt a “connection” , I just smiled and said that connection is the sound of your belt unbuckling.

      It’s gonna be tough. .but I would try.

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