THE ASKING

THE ASKING

WRITER’S NOTE: I want to dedicate this poem to my brothers-at-heart. To you dearies – Dubem, Bobby, Temi-D and every LGBTIQ person on here who knows what truly it means to stay awake all night with questions tumbling-rollercoaster-avalanching in your head with no forthcoming answers, only to meet the dawn with the despairing signs of voluntary vigil. To you living positively, it can’t get any worse than this.

Tell me I will be fine

Tell me it’s alright to cry, to let the tears spill over like the flood in Noah’s day

Tell me to be strong because all this is just for a moment

Tell me it’s okay to go down the very depths of Hell and burn

Because like fine molten brass, I will arise shinier

Tell me that slowly, I am not losing this war

Letting you take the upper hand, be proclaimed victor in hushed whispers around closed caskets

Tell me

Please tell me…

Why are you silent?

Tell!

For with the tell-tale signs sparged over my body, I know you can speak

Tell me that I will very soon find love in the heart of the One

The arms of he that will make all this pain feel like a bad dream

Gone with the warmth of a touch, a smile, a sparkle in his eyes

Tell me that you are just a visitor staying no longer than you are welcomed

Tell me it’s ok to feel stigmatised

But like dew drops on the moist morning leaf, it should roll right off me

Tell me my anger at Dada and Ma is right to be founded on their bigotry

I implore you . . . Please tell!

That we can make the most of this situation

Working out of this blood-walk unscathed

Tell me I won’t burn in hell when this frail being maybe cannot anymore hold

Tell me, please tell me

Because knowing will to this yearning heart halfway bestow a healing balm

Please tell . . .

Written by Pisces

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11 Comments

  1. james bruno
    September 01, 06:21 Reply

    take your meds. learn from your mistakes. you’ll be alright.

    • Adey
      September 01, 06:51 Reply

      Why do I find both this post and this comment mildly irritating?! ?

      • Pink Panther
        September 01, 07:25 Reply

        Lol. Well, have u decided why you find them mildly irritating? Care to share? 🙂

      • Peak
        September 01, 11:32 Reply

        @Adey, for some weird reason, I sort of share ur feelings too, particularly about the above comment.

      • Brian Collins
        September 04, 15:44 Reply

        Adey, maybe because it simply is irritating. I cringed when i read it.

  2. A-non
    September 01, 07:10 Reply

    A corporate climber’s worst nightmare…

    That moment when you get the job and have to go for medicals and HR goes quiet on you afterwards.

    Despite the public stigma, the stigma that must be first overcome is that of self-stigma.

    To everyone everyone who bears this cross, daily doses of strength and courage I pray thee

    • Pink Panther
      September 01, 07:27 Reply

      The thing about the stigma is, sometimes, overcoming self-stigma is not helped when you come under the scourge of public stigma.

  3. Diablo
    September 01, 08:16 Reply

    You know all this despair and chagrin does nothing but alleviate your immune system? I almost died from Malaria last year, I’m positive i would have. Someone i know died from Typhoid fever recently. So stop beating yourself over because you have HIV, when this isnt the 80s. This is life, things like this happen, stop wailing and writing sad defeatist poems and take this challenge head on! Everyone has their own cross to bear, and their own set of problems. So you are not unique in any way because you have this virus.

    What doesn’t kill you, can either make you stronger or leave you writing sad depressive poems. You choose

  4. JOJOARMANI
    September 01, 10:22 Reply

    Diablo… Its not easy bro!… Just like everyone learnt Been A Homosexual to be a demonic and worst sin, so did we get to learn that HIV is a disease worst than the rest!… We already have that feeling about it.. It would only take the brave to understand and live with the fact that he or she is like that already.

    • Diablo
      September 01, 10:31 Reply

      HIV a disease worse than the rest? Thats the type of mind set that keeps people afraid and stigmatized. Its a shame ppl still think that way, when information is just a click away.

  5. BRYANNN
    September 01, 17:31 Reply

    As a medical professional, i would like to leave the poster with these counselling…… I would say ……YES!!!!! to a meaningless life, yes!!!! to a life that would come to an end, and yes again to heavy stigma…….ONLY if you had tested positive around the year 2000 and so…..My dear brace yourself, as a young medical personnel, the calibre of people i see lately, trooping into hospitals for their routine medications and check up, you wud just stop biting really hard on urself….Actually this dreaded killer HIV can allow you live your normal life and exit the face of this mother earth when God wants it…….how does that happen????? …….Only when you meticulously and cautiously follow your drug routine, never you default in any,you will live a happier life…..Gay people are only scared of HIV, the only disease that still guarantees your living.If u must know, the likes of Hepatitis-B, genital warts caused by HPV these are actually more deadly, coz they have no potent cure……And can lead to hepatocellular carcinoma(liver cancer) and Anorectal/oropharyngeal cancers respectively, hepatitis will always remain subclinical(meaning No obvious symptoms)…..Do not cry over spilled milk, rather i implore you to be more determined right your wrongs, live above your worries, pray fervently and finally believe that you are actually stronger than you think….thanks

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