WHAT WE WANT FOR CHRISTMAS: 16 Wishes KDians Would Like Fulfilled This Christmas

WHAT WE WANT FOR CHRISTMAS: 16 Wishes KDians Would Like Fulfilled This Christmas

Santa Claus, you have a job to do.

So, in the past couple of days, I polled several Kitodiariesians with the question: What’s that crazy or fun or silly or slutty or humorous or grave wish you’d like granted to you this Christmas? I got an overwhelming surge of responses, but I only needed a small number for the purpose of this post. And so, I have picked out 16 wishes I’d like to share with y’all – those wishes we want fulfilled this Christmas, here on Kito Diaries.

So, Santa Claus, we’re here, good and naughty alike, and we have a list. Check on it below. 🙂

1. Santa Claus, I have been a very naughty boy this year, and boy, was it worth it. That being said, here are the things I want for Christmas. First off, as a proud feminist, I was disappointed to find out that only one male celebrity had his iCloud account hacked this year, and while David McIntosh’s nudes almost made up for the lack of numbers (they were that hot), I want to leave 2014 with a bang. So it seems only fair that to even the playing field, some male celeb nudes should also be leaked. This present isn’t only for me, Santa, but for every girl and gay out there. And here are the celebs I want – Tyson Beckford, Trey Songz, William Levy, Charlie Hunnam, Jack Falahee, Derek Hough, and of course, the almighty Idris Elba. PS: No need for Michael B. Jordan, since I already have what I need.

2. A secluded, dreamy beach on an isle… Glorious weather in the day with the occasional rainstorm at night… A dude who is in sync with me… Great internet access… And lots of choice food and chocolate for various purposes.2 xmas

3. I want David McIntosh, twelve bottles of white wine, a bed and a duvet, and a truckload of comedy and horror movies. Oh, and plenty exotic meals too (I mean, we gotta eat sometime… All that energy spent…). And no visitors… In fact, no one goes in or out of the house!3 xmas

4. A nice apartment, with a white Range Sport 2013. Rent paid for five years. Then some exquisite French chocolate and a bottle of French sweet wine to relax the night I move in.4 xmas

5. I want a transgender. A really cute, slim and flexible, smooth-skinned light-complexioned transgender – preferably Asian or Latino, ready to do my bidding at the slightest whim and who is über adventurous.

6. Santa, I want a hot, messy massage from a younger, sexy you, wearing thongs, screaming ho-ho-ho while riding me at 12, 000 feet on the sleigh pulled by the magical reindeers.6 xmas

7. I want to have Omari HardPrick – sorry, Hardwick splayed naked under my Christmas tree with nothing on but a Santa’s cap, with an erection coated with chocolate, one which I’ll lick off his tool for breakfast, then him for lunch and dinner during the cold Harmattan nights.

8. I want an orgy for Christmas… A house filled with the hottest boys for one weekend. At least, twenty-five neat, healthy boys. There’ll be games, role play… strip poker (I love strip poker)8 xmas

9. A sexy big, fluffy booty, a good face to it and a vacation with the person

10. I want a good shag from Keith Carlos. With all my heart, I ask this, Santa.10 xmas

11. I want to find Love. Santa, think you can manage that?

12. I want to be able to bring my boo home and tell my parents the truth and have them miraculously understand and give their blessings12 xmas

13. I’ll like world peace and zero attacks between KDtians… OK, Santa, I see you shaking your head in disbelief. Scratch that. I want a happy life filled with all the asses in China and Benedict Cumberbatch waking me up on Christmas morning with nothing else on but a Santa hat.

14. I want a sweetheart for Christmas. He doesn’t have to be a perfect 10; a 9 and a half wouldn’t be so bad. Tall, light-skinned, gorgeous, with a booty to die for. Must have a great sense of humour and can hold great conversation. So Santa, since I’ve been a good boy this year, please, fill my stocking with this fine specimen of Nigerian manhood.

All this I want…

And world peace of course 😀

15. All I want for Christmas is to wake up and somehow all the oppressive choking homophobia has been sucked out and replaced with tolerance… A country where people judge you based on the content of your character as well as your contributions to humanity and not on the basis of who you choose to have sex with.15 xmas

16. What I want for Christmas, Santa, is for him to say to me the three words I want most to hear, not because he knows I want to hear them, but because he feels them, the exact strength of feelings I feel for him.16 xmas

So there you have it. Uh, just in case Santa Claus is feeling generous with his gifts, why don’t you tell us what you want for Christmas in the comments section…

Have a Merry Christmas, Kitodiariesians, and a Prosperous New Year ahead of you. – Pink Panther

Next Season Greetings, From Kito Diaries

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  1. Micky
    December 25, 06:02 Reply

    Oh Pinky!!!! You are such a slut!!! Lol…

  2. Max
    December 25, 06:37 Reply

    Thank goodness you didn’t include names…

    • Dennis Macauley
      December 25, 06:58 Reply

      He doesn’t need to include names. I can tell who wrote what, merely by reading them.
      I can spot Absalom, Pink Panther, Khaleesi and you my very dear max

      • pinkpanthertb
        December 25, 07:00 Reply

        Your spotting is a little skewed, if you think you see Absalom there. 🙂

      • Max
        December 25, 09:39 Reply

        Oh no dear, I don’t think you can spot me in three tries.. Wanna bet?

  3. Chuck
    December 25, 06:41 Reply

    Why light skinned? Y’all are not only imbibing homophobia (looking for masc) but also enshrining racist ideals.

    • pinkpanthertb
      December 25, 06:45 Reply

      Seriously Chuck? Someone is not allowed to have a choice this beautiful Christmas morning without getting bashed for it?

      • Chuck
        December 25, 09:04 Reply

        Why is light skinned a requirement? That should not be a necessary condition

    • Lothario
      December 29, 14:11 Reply

      Really? I’m not sure what’s wrong with preferring light skinned dudes

  4. paradox
    December 25, 06:43 Reply

    As Pinkie assumed HIV is one wish I got for christmas (that title rankles mehn), I wonder where ‘having the side effects of this HIV suppressing drug totally disappearing’ wud fit in *files n blows on fingernails*

  5. Adrian
    December 25, 07:26 Reply

    David mcintosh?…nah…his dick too small …gimme BoB or August Alcina, shebi his dick ruptured a girls cervix or so?…by the way..all this clique u people are forming, dia ris God o! kontinu!

    • Colossus
      December 25, 07:58 Reply

      There is a clique? Abeg I want in. Let this be my Christmas wish

      • Colossus
        December 25, 08:37 Reply

        It’s Colussus. Collosus sounds like an Akpan look alike. So, mind sharing that Vodka, it’s Christmas.

      • Dennis Macauley
        December 25, 09:16 Reply


        On the rocks?

        The priest talked about sharing in mass today!

      • Colossus
        December 25, 09:28 Reply

        Wait a minute, you listened? You actually listened? My my my, this is going to be a beautiful Christmas. On the rocks would do just fine.

      • Dennis Macauley
        December 25, 09:39 Reply


        I was only being courteous and civil!

        I listened! I ofcourse still think it’s mostly folklore and fiction, but I listened all the same!

        ***hands you glass***

    • Brian Collins
      December 25, 08:08 Reply

      Who is this behind person? Wiz Khalifa is the new king of big dick celebs according to reports. I just can’t imagine Amber Rose bouncing on 13inches of solid man meat.

  6. tobby
    December 25, 07:32 Reply

    lol @ dat “younger santa” wish

  7. Brian Collins
    December 25, 08:11 Reply

    I was having a fun read, then I got to no 13 and I was laughing my ass off.
    I particularly loved no 15 cos it was the least selfish request.
    And that no 16, don’t we all? At least I know I want that.

    • Colossus
      December 25, 08:33 Reply

      I agree. Loved the wishes. I can suspect who wrote no. 15, why wasn’t i asked? I could’ve written the same thing.

  8. JArch
    December 25, 08:25 Reply

    All I want for Christmas is for DM to pop the question to Mrs M and we’ll have a fabulous wedding (so fabulous that Kate Middleton’s wedding would seem like child’s play). Then they’ll move into a flat in Chelsea filled with prized antiques and a huge kitchen for Mrs M.

    Ps: All invited guest shall desist from flirting with the Best man(me) and the maid of honour Pinky. Reasons being Pinky’s wedding to Lord Scarface is next. While yours truly isn’t ready to become anyone’s baby mama

      • Dennis Macauley
        December 25, 09:20 Reply


        I actually laughed really hard at this! Like really really hard!


        I believe in serendipity!

        So we’ll see!

        Erm about the best man? There are approx. 15 other people you will have to slug out that position with.

        And about Lord Scarface? He hasn’t brought wine to the father of the bride, so I will pretend I don’t know about that rendezvous!

        ***straight face***

      • Max
        December 25, 09:45 Reply

        Errrmmm *scratches head, who’s scarface?? … And you were acting all “concerned ” yesterday.. Lil did I know you had someone greasing your wheels and shit..

      • JArch
        December 25, 09:55 Reply

        Lol Dennis
        I knew some peeps will try to pull familiarity rank for the best man position. I have made arrangements for those men.

        Some people will be stepping down like less popular PDP APC presidential aspirants lol.

      • JArch
        December 25, 10:03 Reply

        Lmaooo please don’t be a LASTMA Max. Lord Scareface is what Brad Pitt is to Angelina Jolie. He does make cameo appreances on the blog -For obvious reasons… Prepping pinky for her future title of Dame Pinky hehe

        • pinkpanthertb
          December 25, 10:05 Reply

          Hahahahahahahahahaa!!! Kai! Aswear I’m dead. Jarch, my God is watching you.

      • JArch
        December 25, 10:21 Reply

        Dame Pinky
        Why are you doing like the name hasn’t been rolling around your lips for sometime now

        Dennis if Scarface hasn’t brought the champagne its cos he has ordered for a custom made bottle with the perfect amount of bubbles. The winery is behind on their delivery schedule because his Lordship insists on perfection

      • Max
        December 25, 10:59 Reply

        For this clandestine activity of yours @pinky, your wish/request is hereby denied!!

      • Mrs Macaulay
        December 25, 11:07 Reply

        ****Dials Vera Wang****

        “That dress that I had you put on hold since, erm I may be needing it sooner than we thought! When is your earliest convenience for a fitting?”

        *sips champagne*

    • Dennis Macauley
      December 25, 11:19 Reply

      I was wondering when you were gonna show up!

      You never disappoint!


    • Peak
      December 25, 13:50 Reply

      *clears throat* Mrs M. Please hope u are getting not just any vera wang, but “off the rack” vera wang?

      And pinky enough with the fake laff biko! Any time the name scarface comes up u just launch into blushing mode and ur response to the matter is mostly made up of “hahahahas”
      I am adding my eyes to those of dennis and chestnut. U need to be watched closely, cos u I don’t trust men with back bones who sudddenly turn into mute-blushing-bimbos over night. U will not bring shame to us, u will be escorted off properly. You are the Queen B so all the necessary rites must be observed

      Merry Christmas Y’all

      • Dennis Macauley
        December 25, 15:05 Reply

        Peak thankyou for this comment!

        Pink Panther has to be married off properly!

        Lord Scarface? Lord Scarface? Lod Scarface?

        How many times did I call you?


  9. FKA Chizzie
    December 25, 08:35 Reply

    I want a self lubricating and self dilating ass for xmas…

  10. Lord II
    December 25, 10:14 Reply

    Ah dat no 13 sha….cracked me up big time. Santa u know now….exactly what I want….erm Thanx boo!

    • Max
      December 25, 10:16 Reply

      I think what you want is already on the list..

      • Lord II
        December 25, 13:19 Reply

        He wasn’t referring to you Chizzie luv…it was me and your right Max it’s just dat my wish is little but more sinister than that on d list!!!

        • pinkpanthertb
          December 25, 13:30 Reply

          Oh King, are you really that obtuse? So much so you didn’t get that chizzie was referring to you?

      • Lord II
        December 25, 13:48 Reply

        Ofcoz he THOT he was referring to me and sad to say even U tot he was but truly he was referring to himself ooo!!! So I just helped him see better…coz anybody with half a brain will know that it’s HE dat needs d brain and not me…hope u too see ba?

  11. FKA Chizzie
    December 25, 10:30 Reply

    its for the potential bae…who happens to be hugely endowed …so for fear of incontinence, Santa had better grant me my. wish.

  12. lluvmua
    December 25, 12:00 Reply

    And mrs m why not try elli sabbs ? She has nice fitting s

  13. Brian Collins
    December 25, 15:33 Reply

    Lawd, I af die for laff. Either wedding would produce a gown that would surely give dat Middleton gal a run for her money.
    Me I recommend Alexander Mcqueen hand woven.
    I can already picture the pomp and pageantry and posh and class and true gayness – in the happy sense.
    Dennis won’t you propose to Mrs M already? Dey dia dey wait for champagne, you go just hia say your daughter don elope go Greece.
    Scarface come and buy Schnapps o so dat Dennis will rest.

  14. Airdeecan
    December 25, 16:25 Reply

    Santa knows my wish….. Thought I was d only one with the Santa fantasy…..Santa is one hit bear….thanks Santa…. U haven’t been that naughty thus year tho.

  15. Andrevn
    December 25, 19:36 Reply

    Vera Wang is a very nice choice @mrs DM…….but please grant me the honour of crafting your after party gown…..Getting some crazy ideas already……..with the finest lace and silks ofcourse…….please!!!
    PS:when he does pop the question you know how to find me…..#winks

  16. Frank enStein
    December 26, 00:14 Reply

    How do you guys know the sizes of these celebrities’ dicks

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