I have been a huge reader and a lover of this blog, and I have learnt a lot from reading the various stories posted here.
I am girl in my early twenties and I like to identify as a lesbian. I am also very tired and extremely confused because I am yet to actually have sex with a girl without chickening out and bolting out the door. Whenever I try to get down with a girl, I always feel uneasy and I tell her to stop. I do this a lot and it’s become annoying even to me. I was almost forced to do it the last time I met with a girl and told her to stop when she started touching me. She’d gotten offended and wouldn’t stop, and to be honest, I don’t even blame her.
Why can’t I have sex with a girl?
Why can’t I go all the way?
I know I’m a lesbian and I’m very sure about it. Is this a phase? Do people feel this way also or am I the only one that actually finds sex difficult?
I don’t know what to do anymore and I am very exhausted.
I don’t even see myself dating a girl (that’s a story for another day), but at least, I want to be able to have sex and not feel weird about it.
Please, I need to know what’s really going on.
Submitted by Lynn
I know lesbianism is all about being attracted to a girl and probably having sex with her but maybe mentally you are not just ready for the sexual aspect of it or maybe you could be asexual or even demisexual which is you not being able to have sex with someone you don’t have feelings for, whichever it is do not feel the pressure to have sex, you are still young and in your prime so enjoy life and when you are ready you would enjoy sex too.
Another thing, if you say No to someone and they do not stop please by all means do not blame yourself. Because you started the sexual advance doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind midway, that’s rape if they refuse to stop.
THIS!!!
I am just as surprised especially with what am used to with guys
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
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You love who you love. That’s how it is. You’re coming into realisation of every. Hence you’re trying to phantom everything.
You’re not ready for sex. No need trying to force yourself into it.
Girls can be a bit pushy and want to jump into sex immediately but I don’t think that’s something you need.
Next time, take it slowly, know the person a little better, get comfortable with them and once the trust is there, this person can take it slow. A little kiss here and there, a subtle touch, etc till you feel you’re ready. If you’re not still ready then it’s not a forcing sturvs.
Lead your life and enjoy other things.
‘Girls can be a bit pushy and want to jump into sex immediately but I don’t think that’s something you need.’
We learn everyday. Woah ?
why not try another thing , start by making friends first and get to know them well and see you who you strike a bond with and those who will remain friends since their opinions will help with improving your sexual desire.
You have not accepted yourself completely. I used to feel weird after sex back in the days.
Lynn i am in the same shoes like you…. really dont know why i cant go all the way
maybe i know
i am churchy….. PK
are you too?
I want to have sex with girls too…. and boys.
I can’t go any way either ..even half-way and I don’t even try. But with someone I have feelings for I wanna sleep with that one everyday. Like Net said you are probably in one of those spectrum. No need feeling this way. Just take it one step at a time. And when you do find love, if you are indeed demisexual, you will find sex in it. It will all come one step at a time.
please i need help with my relationship..how do i send my questions?