A Tale from the Garden City
It was finally time to go to the airport. I picked up my luggage and hauled it down the stairs with my sisters tagging behind, sniffing back tears. I thanked God that my mum had gone to her shop earlier; I wouldn’t have been able to hold back the tears.
The taxi driver came and in few minutes, and after hastily-said goodbyes and my immediate older sister still asking if I remembered to take this or that, I was on my way to the airport. About fifty minutes later, we got to Benin airport. It wasn’t long before I got aboard the Lagos-bound flight, from whence I’d catch a flight to my actual destination, Port Harcourt.
I was born and bred in Benin, and this would be me leaving the nest, a graduate now employed with a firm in the Garden City. It all felt new, and even though I felt some sadness at leaving everything I was familiar with behind, I felt a strange sense of exhilaration at this new chapter of my life I was going to write.
On behalf of your captain, Ahmed, and the entire crew, I say welcome to Port Harcourt. And I wish you safety to your various destinations as we hope to have you onboard soon.
The female voice filled the entire plane, preceding the clicking of seat belts as the passengers were roused to the anticipation of disembarkment. I came down from the airplane, and inhaled the air of my new city, before proceeding for the building, where I took the time to surreptitiously take account of the hot guys streaming around the environs.
The next morning found me standing in front of my soon-to-be place of work. The HR person in the Port Harcourt office greeted me, asking with smile about my flight down and everything she deemed fit to chip in. She took me round the office, introducing me to every department and the staff members, and I smiled and nodded at this crop of people that courteously returned my greetings and visually assessed the new guy.
Months passed and I was soon settled. In all the time I’d spent settling at work and my new residence, I’d barely had time to consider my social or sex life. But when everything settled to a steady going, that yearning was awakened.
I remembered the warning my know-it-all friend gave me days before I left Benin: “If you like, go to PH and jump into another relationship. Those PH boys are not loyal. Shine your eyes around them o, and use your head instead of your heart. Because the one that crushes that heart, me, I’m nowhere close to you to offer you my shoulder to cry on o!”
I held those words of caution close to my heart as I embarked online to look for some action. I was determined not to get too deeply involved with anyone; the last relationship I’d had in Benin had been a total mess, and following the break-up, I’d built up a wall around my heart that even the walls of Jericho wouldn’t compare to. I hooked up with two guys consecutively, and what we had didn’t go beyond a mutually-satisfying ‘acquaintanceship’; one of them had asked for us to get more serious, but I objected to any involvement.
Then I met Ian.
It was on Facebook. He was just a regular guy, average-looking, but with a beguiling charm. We hooked up, once, twice, both of them such divine sexual experiences. And we not only had good sex; we talked. Talking to him was very easy. Predictably, I began falling for him. Whether it was the sex or the fact that we had an effortless verbal communication or the fact that he usually wears the most adorable cute-puppy look on his face, or a mixture of all three factors, I quickly found that I had no brakes to stop this headlong rush to falling for him. I knew I was in trouble when I actually watched him sleep one evening after sex, and took a picture of him in repose.
I told my friend about this, and the first thing he asked was, “Do you have a song for him yet?” It’s a private joke, his teasing of me for my tendency to get a song for every guy I get serious with (Yes, I’m romantic that way). In response to him, I laughed and said, “Yes, John Legend’s ‘All Of Me’.
“This is serious o,” he said through the phone. “The moment you tie a song to a pikin, it means you are hooked o.”
I chuckled at that, as I recalled how messy that way I’ve gotten in the past. There was a guy who I had Rihanna’s Stay for; we both loved the song. And then another who made me see the lyrics to Brandy’s True all the time we were together; and when we broke up, I could not get enough of Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball. Like I said, I’m a mess like that sometimes. I laugh each time people say I’m rude and cold; I can’t really blame them for saying such, because I’ve come to realise those are fronts I put up to hide the fact that I’m a very emotional person.
Anyway, back to Ian… Because I had no brakes when it came to my emotions for him, I just fell and fell and fell in love with him. But a line from Brandy’s True soon assumed prominence in my mind: ‘…there is nothing worse than being in love alone.” Absolutely nothing! I did everything and tried everything, investing myself in a relationship with him that I made the mistake of not asking for. Perhaps I was too scared to ask him out because I feared he would turn me down, perhaps I didn’t want to hear him say no; whichever was the case, I began to woo him with my dedication to him, hoping my actions would speak louder than my words. He would send me voicenotes of him playing his guitar and singing All Of Me, and I would get so touched that I’d instantly call him back and end up talking with him for several minutes. And every time, I came this close to just blurting, “I love you, Ian.” I never did. I was too scared.
It however became increasingly obvious to me that Ian really didn’t see that I felt too much for him. It began to dawn on me that he hadn’t intuited to my feelings for him, and perhaps all he thought of me was a casual fuck buddy.
Things came to a head after an old acquaintance chatted me up. His name is Cosmos. He asked me over to his place for lunch. I declined. And then, on the heels of the guilt I felt at my refusal, I decided to make it up to him by asking him out to lunch at an eatery on a later afternoon. On that afternoon, when he buzzed me to remind me of our lunch date, I was at Ian’s. Ian wanted to know where I was going, and I told him. He asked to tag along, and I agreed.
On getting there, we placed our orders and struck up a conversation. I’d never been too into Cosmos from the start; besides, I had Ian. Or so I thought.
The two of them got very flirtatious with each other, and before long, they were exchanging contacts. I could not believe it. Ian couldn’t even accord me the dignity of trying to get Cosmos’s contact without my knowledge. They simply swapped the details right there in my very before. I felt very hurt. And my heart burned with anger at the two of them.
When Ian got up to go to the restroom, I didn’t waste time in letting Cosmos know about how I felt. It was unfair to him, but I didn’t care. I was burning to lash out at someone. I was still telling him off when Ian returned. He saw the tension at our table and wanted to know what was going on. Cosmos of course brought him up to speed, and Ian laughed. He laughed. And then he told me that I was acting like a boy whose toy was taken from him. I got so upset within me at what I saw as a mocking remark from him. Did he not know? Could he not see? Had I not done enough to let him get even an inkling that I cared too much for him?
At this point, I got too upset that I got up, walked to the attendant and paid. And then I stomped out of the eatery. They both hurried after me, calling my name and wanting to know why I was acting up. But I didn’t wait for them to see me in my vulnerable state. I dived into the nearest taxi and got away from them fast. In the drive, I put my earpiece against my ears, turned on my media, and the first words to assail my ears were: ‘…this time, it’s different, feels like I was just a victim when you cut me like a knife…’
Ian and Cosmos called me a number of times on the journey home. I didn’t answer their calls. And then, Ian got mad at me. And everything between us just went downhill from that day. We got broken after that day, never really were able to get back to the way we used to me. I struggled with my misery over the unfortunate turn of events. Struggled and survived. Days and weeks have passed since Ian. I’m still in the Garden City, still living life, and still taking love one day at a time.
A friend once said: Never spend your time chasing a bus that wouldn’t wait for you. To that, I add: …Cos you might spend your whole life running.
Written by Mirage
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69 Comments
Dennis Macaulay
November 26, 06:20PH boys are not loyal abi?
Let me let that slide because it’s you!
Brian Collins
November 26, 06:39Uncle, is it a lie? Not that I am not loyal o but I have some real classyic sluts that I am friends with.
Dennis Macaulay
November 26, 06:45Biko me I am very loyal!
Pink Panther
November 26, 06:46Just to those who haven’t been around the block, right? 🙂
#Chestnut
November 26, 07:15#BOOM! Pp,I see u’re packing grenades dis morning…carry on.
Dennis,are u ok?are u hurt? Hehehe…
Pink Panther
November 26, 07:17????????
Max
November 26, 09:51Touché @PP
Brian Collins
November 26, 06:37Wow, this thing about not defining relationships of friendships persay. Really sucks. I feel sorry about the whole thing. When love is not reciprocated it hurts real bad.
bruno
November 26, 06:57moral of the story: be direct about your feelings and intentions with someone as early as you can and encourage the object of your affection to be too.
that way, you can nip it in the bud quickly – if necessary – before you become too invested . it’s much better than having an undefined relationship that would more often than not spectacularly break down like this. been there.
Mandy
November 26, 07:01You know, Mirage, you would have gone a long way to preventing this heartache if you had simply told him instead of waiting for him to see it. What’s the worst that could have happened? He’d have said no, he’s not interested in a relationship? And when that happens, you’d suffer the heartache once and move on, instead of this protracted turmoil you had to endure.
Love is a gamble. You don’t get to enjoy it if you’re too scared to cast the dice.
Brian Collins
November 26, 07:16There is such a thing as being a hopeless romantic. PS: I just hate that hopeless precedes romantic.
The greatest love story didn’t really involve telling in the true sense. I guess he had faith that Ian was going to see it for what it was.
Colossus
November 26, 07:16Really really hard to work up empathy for this situation
Brian Collins
November 26, 07:17Because you want nothing to do with love or because you wouldn’t be ‘stupid’ enough to fall in love with someone who didn’t feel the same way?
Max
November 26, 09:53Hmmm
#Chestnut
November 26, 07:23Chai! Mirage,pele o nna. I can totally relate to ur pain; that moment when two ppl u couldn’t get, now decide that it’s on top of each other’s matter that they want to die and perish (sometimes even in ur own house!);I almost drank otapiapia in 2010,but Mercy said “NO!” I just had to wait it out for the next 3 months and “POOF!”,all gone! My God never fails me,Hehehe…
Pink Panther
November 26, 07:27Why do people stay silent, robbed of speech by their attraction? Especially when in this case, una don shag. Omo, if we have become that intimate and I gbadu you, I will tell you hoo-ha! I cannot coman goan start dying in silence.
Peak
November 26, 07:41The lord has been good to our dear chestnut. He was bitten by snakes and scorpions but came out victorious…3 months later. Prrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeee the lord. Hallelujah! I say pra! Pra!! Pra! Prrrrrraaaaaiiiiiiisssssseeee lord! Hallelujah. The lord is good…all the time. All the time…the lord is good. ** passes collection plate for this grate MIRACU!
#Chestnut
November 26, 08:05I dey tells u! My advice to anyone going thru a similar situation: just hold on for 3 months (or if d universe particularly luvs u, less than 3 months) everything will fade away by then. *evil grin*
Peak
November 26, 08:37Quick question Chestnut! Do you really completely get over someone you LOVE in 3 months? Cos I can’t help but wonder how ppl get over something as HUGE as this thing called love in a space of 3 months. I just can’t help but feel cats walk around calling infatuation and heavy crush love. Ur heat skips a beat everytime you see him or you have difficulty breathing whenever he is near, miss him like crazy, looking around to catch a sight of him or wanting to be around him, doesn’t necessarily mean “love”. You exhibit the same symptoms when you are crushing or infatuated.
So while we can like to scream love at every tickling feeling we get, and get over such feelings real quickly. One can’t help but wonder if we were truly indeed in love. Sorry but 3 months isn’t enough to get over a lost love. I don’t have to be in love to discern that much. So explain to me how Y’all do it. I like to know how to flip the switch when I eventually fall in love.
Jeova Sanctus Unus
December 18, 09:149 years, perhaps? It has to be.
#NoComment
Max
November 26, 09:55Lmfao @Peak
Dick Advocate
November 26, 08:12I really feel sorry for the hopeless romantics and people that actually beleive in ” Love ”
I see them as weak people, just a few rounds of good sex and they start thinking love. Pathetic!
Peak
November 26, 08:22Weak? Really? Lol, not today son, not today. You thried it though, but not today.
Max
November 26, 10:01Really trying to ignore your senseless comment.
Really really trying.
Chizzie
November 26, 08:34Ok that was really dramatic….and lame. Actually I know how you feel and I’ve been in situations where everything was all in my head, but sooner or later you get the hint and lick your wounds and brazen up, and deny you ever felt that way.
What you do not do is walk out of an eatery in dramatic fashion, or make any form of confrontation what so ever – wtf was that. Sometimes act cool even though your heart is bleeding and when the lights are down and no one is around you can have the mother of all nervous breakdowns
I think you need to work on yourself a bit. Because there are some freakish things going on : the taking of pictures when one is asleep, the assigning of songs, the storming out of eateries, the looking for love one day at a time. Maybe ease up on the Disney movies concept of life and love
Brian Collins
November 26, 11:24See this one talking. I have seen the plenty restraint you employ when someone upset you here. I don’t see anything wrong with storming out of the eatery, you may call it whatever you want but really it’s only my dad I wouldn’t walk out on if he upset me. He was over taken by jealousy and the thought of being disrespected by both his friend and Ian, it was understandable that he was upset should he have sat there in silence like he was OK with what went on? Isn’t that doing what he did with Ian by not expressing his feelings in the first place? Just goan sit down abeg.
Dennis Macaulay
November 26, 09:16If you love someone say it otherwise the moment just passes away…
Julia Roberts in My best friends wedding!
I have nothing against Ian, he was unaware of your feelings! You should have let him know how you felt and if he turned you down then you would have known for sure!
Max
November 26, 10:06I never mentioned Ian in my comment, some men are insensitive and its our duty to pick them out from the lot and never have anything to do with them. So its not his fault, he just couldnt help his insensitivity situation.
Brian Collins
November 26, 11:23Dennis, Julia Roberts was just saying her line abeg. You think it is easy to tell someone that you love them? Especially when it seems like you might be the only one in love? You know how scary that can be?
Max
November 26, 09:50Awwwww.. Dating someone who isnt dating you can lead you to commit suicide, its one of the most hurtful things ever. Wait for someone else to come along, I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for.
Deola
November 26, 09:56Sorry.
Max
November 26, 10:03Chai Deola ????.. You’re terrible
Peak
November 26, 10:26Sorry? Really? Lol.
Please how soon can we sit down and discuss about this “bitchie” fluid you got flowing in you lately?
Max
November 26, 12:23*coughs** bidniss is booming, so its only natural to be bitchy. ??
Zage
November 26, 10:19NDO
tarter
November 26, 10:21lol..hilarious, I’ve been in love twice,i loved while the person liked,the person boldly said no relationships because its against his religion, and even if he wants to date again, it will be his ex,that was January this year,of course i still love him,but I know where we stand,that nothing except sex will happen. So mirage,stop dating someone that isn’t dating u,sorry tho
Max
November 26, 12:26“the person boldly said no relationships because its against his religion, and even if he wants to date again, it will be his ex”
Why do people allow other people to disrespect them in this way all in the name of religion? Drop him like hot shit fast and don’t look back.
Nightwing
November 26, 11:05Hey dude this was all your fault, you didn’t have the balls to ask him out and you’re complaining, well yes I do agree you acted like a child who’s had his toy taken, why do people get jealous sef. Anyhow that’d your cross to bare, the fact that they exchanged numbers doesn’t mean jack.
Brian Collins
November 26, 11:31Something happened between two friends of mine recently. A is friends with some guy and introduces him to B, then B goes ahead and meets up this guy without informing A. A found out where B was when we went to B’s house and didn’t meet him at home and wasn’t very pleased. I confront B on my own and he says he didn’t need A’s permission to meet up with the guy and I concurred that he really didn’t need permission but he should have at least informed A.
That was what Mirage’s friend should have done. I didn’t know Ian before then and went ahead to exchange numbers with him in Mirage’s presence without caring that he and Ian could have something going. Just plain wrong.
Tobby
November 26, 11:13Yousshould have told Ian
Keredim
November 26, 12:12“He would send me voicenotes of him playing his guitar and singing All Of Me..”
And that wasn’t enough signal for you that he wanted more?!! What were you waiting for? For him to express his love during his Oscar acceptance speech?!??
Dude, “You snooze you lose” Simple!!
Like Beyoncé sang:
?Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it?
??????
Pink Panther
November 26, 12:58Hahahahahahahahahaa Oh Keredim
Khaleesi
November 26, 12:18Beautiful story … a friend once told me that as time goes on, it gets harder and harder to find love because 1. you’re getting older and more jaded generally. 2. With each failed relationship/heartbreak, your heart hardens and makes it harder for love to find its way in …
lovely piece Mirage …
Dickson Clement
November 26, 12:39This is too much drama! Ian even went after you as you zoomed out of the eatery? Even if you guys were dating, so ur Boo can’t exchange contact with your friends? I think you just hurt yourself so much and you ended what could have been a good relationship.
Dick Advocate
November 26, 12:54My friends exchange contacts with my Boo? what for exactly, to discuss Nigeria’s economic hardship? Unemployment?
My dear no way i would let my boo exchange contacts with my Nigerian gay or not so straight friends. its a big No no! for me.
It is for their safety actually, My Boo and my friends you know? to avoid acid bath and shii
Pink Panther
November 26, 13:00My friends exchange contacts with my Boo? what for exactly, to discuss Nigeria’s economic hardship?
Hahahahahahahaa!!! Oh my God.
Stranger
November 26, 19:32Please. My friends trust me with the contact details of their boo(s) and I have never tried to be shady. Birds of a feather flock together.
posh6666
November 26, 13:46Lol in this same Nigeria of ours?ur boo and friend exchange contacts?please tell me what will they be discussing or why should they even be calling themselves in the 1st place?bless your heart dear.Let me advise you,if you actually love a guy so much and you know you might probably drink ota piapia if he breaks up with you,never ever in your life introduce him to your friends not to talk of exchanging contacts.This is nigeria and girls aint smiling one time your lover will just visit your friend at home,onetime he will just eat eforiro”vegetable” and onetime you will become enemies and ur sight will repulse him and that your so called bestie will become the new love of his life.If you now drink pia pia both of them might probably attend your funeral thinking what a fool you are or they might have even forgoten all about you and maybe shagging in that moment when you are being lowered into the ground.If u dont kill yourself like described above,that your bestie might decide to pour you acid for even challenging him of snatching your man.Abuja,Kaduna and Jos is filled with heartless besties like that so better warn urself.
Keredim
November 26, 14:52Posh, isn’t part of the courting process, introducing your intended to your friends and seeing what both parties think of each other and how they get along?
If you are secure in yourself and know your bestie, you would not be concerned about if he will poach your intended or not.
Besides, introducing your intended to your BF, may have certain benefits, like your BF may know of him and vouch or otherwise for him.
I don’t think you can date someone in isolation.
posh6666
November 26, 15:45Oga Kere what you said makes sense but speaking from personal experience and what have seen happen,honestly its best to keep one’s lover away.I dont think i need any friend’s approval whatsoever so long as the guy makes me happy its all good.The 1st guy i ever dated and fell madly in love with,a so called friend did me shege eversince i have learnt to keep my source of happiness away frm friends and really dont think i can ever fall in love again,life is too short anyway so let me taste the waters jare
Keredim
November 26, 16:14I hear you, Posh, but if you intend on having any meaningful long term relationship, you can’t date in isolation.
Just learn from the experience you had with your first love and date openly again, with one-eye open.
I think if you have a good heart (i.e you too haven’t intentionally tried to poach another’s BF), you will be fine.☺️☺️
posh6666
November 26, 16:18Yea the thing is i dont think i will ever fall in love again.I caught d shade in the last part oh lol i really do believe am a very good friend to my few good friends and dont snatch…
Keredim
November 26, 16:35It was no shade. Just an attempt to get you to search your mind and don’t give up on love.
I know it’s a minefield and its dog eat dog, over there but if you are good, then good things will come to you, shekinah!!☺️☺️.
posh6666
November 26, 16:54Thank u hopefully some day will find some1 i mean nobody wants to spend their old age alone after traveling the worldm
Max
November 26, 17:24One way to solve the problem>> choose your friends wisely. You guys are scared of what your friends might do because you know at the back of your mind that they’re all cheap hoes.
Dick Advocate
November 26, 18:33Max I think a hoe friend of yours wrote an article here sometime ago. Not sure you are in the best position to talk about people keeping hoe friends.
Pink Panther
November 26, 17:45The simple fact is: if he’s meant to be with you, if he cares for you, then whether you hide him away from your friends or not, he’ll stick around.
Remember how they tell HIV poz people that anything can kill anybody and so the virus is not the end of life? Well, anyone can wreck your relationship. The second your bf steps out of your bed to go take on the world, anything can happen, thirsty friends or not.
Keredim
November 26, 18:03No, no one does. All the best anyway.?
Stranger
November 26, 19:42‘Tasting waters?’ With all your hoe history I’d say you’ve ABSORBED enough!
Peak
November 26, 15:00One thing that we as humans do that irks me endlessly, is this overwhelming zeal we have to dictate how people should respond emotionally to matters of the heart. We like to dictate how people should feel and respond to their feelings. We keep forgetting one vital thing…” “we are not all the same”. We are all different.
He should have told him how he felt? 1st off, there is no “sharp guy” when it comes to matters of the heart. Do you know hard it is to put ur feelings into words? Even for people who have everything going for them. The jaded ones among us would tell you they want actions and not mere words.
Suddenly everyone on KD are/have been vocal about their affections/feelings to whoever and everyone they have ever held them for? Yeah right!. Its not easy. Sometimes you get caught up in the moment and too scared to say the words out of “fear that it would destroy” everything. End the magic holding up whatever you have and share. So like the writer, you take it a step at a time. It takes 2 to tangle people. He may not be ready and you are moving 2 fast. You overwhelm him and withdrawal starts happening. I guess you all didn’t bother with that angle. It’s increasingly difficult to even be vocal when dealing with men. You constantly have to deal with pride and egos. I felt he should have made his feelings known since he was the sprung party, but the harsh judgemental tone I am see here is just…
A lot of you have fallen desperately in love before and just assumed things would automatically click. Infact it took some, a couple of falls to learn how to explicitly detail and iron out the terms and conditions of their relationships to avoid future conflicts. So you guys should give it a rest and give the man a break. It was an innocent mistake that anyone of us could have made easily.
My issue with him is storming out (that can be excused too, for certain reason. A hot head is a hot head). But ian trying to reach you, and you being queen Elizabeth about it, is just plain childish. Tempers can be excused, but you are expected to cool off. If you TURLY loved Ian, you would have given him ur ears. Even if its for one last time. The so called love that you have for him would have willed you to cave in and hear him out. Work through ur obvious jealousy and insecurity(if you can get pass that).
As for Ian, I wouldn’t be caught dead wasting away for ANYONE who would 1st laugh at my show of affection by being territorial, then go on an insult with his “child and toy” picture. After shamelessly flirting with my friend? Love be damned! my pride out shadows all that nonsense on so many levels.
Keredim
November 26, 15:10Nna Chilax….
Ian sang “All of you” to Mirage. If Mirage was waiting for an opportunity to express his feelings, in this era of emotional scarcity, wasn’t that the appropriate time?
Peak
November 26, 16:09Lol, we get it, he was “sharp” enough, is it enough to cut him open?
Keredim
November 26, 16:28Look at it from Ian’s POV…He brought out his ? and sang for him, only for the song to be met by a lukewarm “Awwwww that is nice”
What is Ian to do? Look elsewhere!
Granted he shouldn’t have exchanged numbers with Cosmos, but maybe he thought Mirage wasn’t interested and was pimping him out.
And yes, they may have been going to talk about the state of the economy…
(shit why am I playing devil’s advocate)??
Peak
November 26, 16:57Hahahahahah
I can’t deal with the mess that is you Keredim.
Shebi na me way get time reply ur matter in the 1st place. If you aren’t being shady, you’re downright messy. This is you being messy, so I will just siddon de look you
Keredim
November 26, 18:00“…so I will just siddon de look you”
I could send you a picture. It lasts longer????
Mirage
November 26, 19:06*grabs mic* oh oh how about a round of applause, standing ovation? U look so dumb right now,standing outside my house, trying to apologise, u so ugly when u cry,plzzzzz…*drops curtains *
bashir
November 26, 19:15Dear *mirage, next time put more effort on making them Respect u more, cos a guy can only be loyal to u, if he Respect u enough…
Dickson Clement
November 27, 08:31Shout out to all the people with super control over their emotions. People should just turn down the emotional heat and get some stony heart! If Ian has been getting random numbers from people you don’t know, then everything is owk! If he takes ur friend’s then he breaks ur heart? The mistake people make sometimes is giving their partner the impression that they are insecure and they value the relationship more! Add more value to urself and see how u won’t give a fuck about who is taking whose digits!
Yoophid
April 27, 10:03Its a really good article.
Thanks for sharing.
Looking forward to more of your works.