DEAR KD: How Do I Handle This ‘The Other Guy’ Mess?
Okay guys, I need your advice on how to handle a situation and I’m out of ideas.
So there’s this guy… I turned down his advances on multiple occasions because I heard from a very reliable source that he has a long-time boyfriend. I’m not ready to become someone’s side piece. Chukwu aju! Not when my right hand is still fully functional. (Been there, done that, have the T-shirt)
When the pestering got too much, I had to block him on BBM. Now the boyfriend (whom I don’t know from Adam, or how he got my number) is the one hounding me to leave his man alone. I don suffer! See my life for outside!
The dude is sparing the actual culprit he is with to call me all sorts of despicable names, all this on top preeq wey I no chop. If to say I know, I for kukuma chop so that I’ll wear the hoe hashtag, crown and sash with pride.
I don’t know what this guy has heard about me. I don’t want someone to ruin my pretty face with acid, and there’s no proof to exonerate myself, just his words against mine. And I’m confused on what to do!
HELP!
Submitted by Jon Snow
About author
You might also like
Dear KD: I’m Caught Between My Fear And My Desire
Since I moved outside Nigeria, I have been either too busy or uninterested to hook up with anybody. Contrary to what all my friends believe, I am not exactly having
The Proposal: A Gay Man And Woman Are Looking For Partners For Marriage
Hello, my name is Bath. I am from Imo State, but I’m based and work in Lagos State. I am a gay guy looking for a lesbian lady for a
The Proposal: A Lesbian Wants A Sperm Donor And Some Queer Men Want Partners
I am a bisexual man in his 30s. I am also HIV+. I am pretty well read, educated and financially stable. I am also independent, upwardly mobile, God-fearing and a
37 Comments
pete
March 03, 05:48Do nothing. It’ll blow over
ambivalentone
March 03, 07:08It always does…Except if its the really stinky and loud type. That one embarrasses
Jamie
March 03, 05:55There seems to be nothing we can help you with. Tell that boy’s boyfriend who came after you, to warn his lover to mind his business, and do this in serious terms!!
At one time in my life, I broke up with someone (Tim). Tim began asking someone else out, and that someone else was equally asking me out too. Well, when I got to find this double-dating scheme out, it gave me a good reason to stay away from the both; but Tim who had been trying to get us back all through and failed, suddenly increased the veracity of his pestering. This new boy who nearly dated me and my ex at the same time, on realising I’d broken up with him, and on finding on my Tim’s phone, the texts he wouldn’t stop sending to ask for a come-back, simply ignored my vehement refusals and rather texted me, warning me to stay away from his man. LOL. And he was a Jehovah Witness boy…lol.
Sha, I pitied him. He must have been in love, maybe… But I warned him sternly to shush and mind his business; and to tell his bf to control his prick. Tim still calls now, and that JW boy is the least name he ever wishes to hear; which I use to torment him to end his calls when I want!! Lol
Jamie
March 03, 05:58Did I just say, ”my Tim”? Sorry, Tim would never be mine ever again… That’s a typographical error that made me flinch!!
Mandy
March 03, 06:52LOL. Youmust really detest Tim.
Jamie
March 03, 07:36No. I just don’t have a good enough reason yet. The reason we broke up is ever so dominant today.
ambivalentone
March 03, 07:03this is a mess *grabs head to hold it together*
Jamie
March 03, 07:58It’s a big, big mess really. I was in a lecture when the texts came…lol
johnny
March 03, 06:04hmmm. My boo tried this shit with me even when he came over to my place. I was pained, instead of warning that side hoe, I warned my boo coz if he had blocked that ass hole nothing would have happened. He still retain my position as the main chick tho, I do things to control respect
Jamie
March 03, 08:04You still seem to have a bigger problem with the side chick sha…though it’s not his fault!
michael
March 03, 10:06Hahaha… Johnny…. Bentizo…
Francis
March 03, 06:46Being there before and the fear of someone spraying me with acid or running me down for express, made me calm down, apologize for insulting him on the phone and asked him to come around for a talk.
Luck was on my side sha as the man already knew his wife was a freaking mess. Till date, I avoid the woman as much as possible. Her lies and my kindness almost got me in serious wahala.
Pink Panther
March 03, 06:48Sounds like a fascinating story that should be put up on KD 😀
Francis
March 03, 07:10Lol. Nothing fascinating there jare. Just a straight woman (one of my patients) with serious issues with her husband. As a newbie for North, I found her very funny and endearing and was willing to do plenty things for her as I trusted her until the husband called and started threatening to deal with me for texting her, dashing her stuff and what have you.
I wasn’t even aware her husband was based in Sokoto sef and was my patient too. She always told me the man was based in Kano at one big construction company. Her husband had been ignoring all our small small “innocent” SMS until she came home one day with one Nokia Asha I had only used for a month or so and was still shining. Husband asked who gave it to her and she lied it was one of her girlfriends that had phones lying around. As fate would have it, she sent me an SMS thanking me for the phone and the husband saw that and lost it.
I still remember how amusement turned to vex and then fear set in that day he called. I thought it was a prank call sef. Lol. Thank God I calmed down and decided not to ignore him. Who’s knows what could have happened aside from disfigurement and early grave retirement. I for don lose my job for toasting patients. Female for that matter. Lol.
Looks like the woman is quite popular with the male folks as she’s fine.
I’m happy that incident happened as I got really close to her to the extent of even planning how to come out to her sef. Chai! The devil almost used me play. Lol
#TheEnd
Pink Panther
March 03, 07:13How did you resolve the issue with her hubby?
Francis
March 03, 07:19I called him over to my office and immediately he walked in, I recognized him as one of those patients I’m even friendly with. So we talked and I explained myself and apologized for doing anything deemed ‘wrong’. #Chikena.
Some things are best discussed and not left awaiting a robust response that would never come. Ignoring the matter sometimes makes it worse.
@Snow: if you chose to have the talk, biko scan him from afar for suspicious bulges and insist on no bags to the meet.
Absalom
March 03, 08:26So your own MESS was not even gay in flavour???? ?? Nna-eh, your market don sell go far, this Francis! ???
Francis
March 03, 08:36When you keep forming nwa Chineke, you attract plenty things. ??
Philips Francis
March 03, 11:28in such situations you’ll just be like ‘News flash dude I’m gay and the only thing that can go on between me and your wife will be girls talk’ hahahah
Francis
March 03, 14:36??? Na when job dey threatened I go take that route.
Max 2.1
March 03, 11:34No bags at the meet? ???? you need Sensei quick!!
Francis
March 03, 11:43Nwannem don’t give chance for surprises.
Kenny
March 03, 06:46This is exactly what Dennis talked about yesterday. Do nothing really, it’ll pass. Just tell him he needs to have words with his man not you.
ambivalentone
March 03, 07:04This here is another kind of mess
Delle
March 03, 08:52This is a step of desperation and the only style in handling this conflict is ‘avoidance’. Avoid, ignore them. The drama is all in front of them, you don’t need to let it come to you.
If you feel you can’t ignore them or avoid the drama, then confrontation should be your next call. Let the ‘blockee’ know exactly how u feel about this situation, even if it means unblocking him. You have to let him know what’s happening (that’s if he doesn’t already know). And if he does, (of which I’m sure he does, prolly the one who even told his bf all sorta lies about you just to get back at you for blocking him), give them your slicing piece of mind.
These are people you care less for and know nothing about. You can’t let them put unnecessary problems on your head because of (like you called it), a preeq u never even chop. Makes no sense to me.
All these blood-sucking MOFOs.
Khaleesi
March 03, 10:46mtchwwwwwww …. you actually made us spend three minutes to read this drivel?? ….mtcheeeeuuuuuwwwwww …. Deal with it as you deem fit!!
Francis
March 03, 11:37*Coughs* That time of the month?
Jon Snow
March 03, 13:08fire in your tampon again? too bad! now we’ll miss your valuable opinion that wasn’t asked for ? tut tut
Mandy
March 03, 13:30*gasp* Khaleesi, why so mean?
Marc Francis of Chelsea
March 03, 11:14You shouldn’t have blocked him. You should have munched his pestering messages and sent to his boyfriend so he can see who his grievances are with.
Now, download Trucaller and ignore any annoying phone calls from the boyfriend.
Max 2.1
March 03, 11:37Tell him to goan talk to his man and he should stop pestering you. Threaten him too.
Pink Panther
March 03, 13:36Vintage Max 🙂
Max 2.1
March 03, 16:18Nna, I can’t Allow any silly bitch to threaten me oh, not in this world. I’ll throttle him in his sleep, him and his man. Mtchewww
Francis
March 03, 16:23???
Mitch
March 03, 14:41Boyfriend drama!
Jon, if you want to get rid of this mess, when next he calls you to threaten you, give him a piece of your mind. By that, I mean unleash hell on him. Trust me, when a person sees someone crazier than him, he wouldn’t go near.
Like D’banj said in one of his songs “If you dey craze, make you no bring craze come my side. Cos when craze meet craze, craze go high……” That’s all you need. Unleash your crazy and watch him mellow.
peaches
March 03, 23:00Heheei… Call Mr Loose pants to chill the titties of his boyfriend. And if u re cute, u might want to meet that welder blacksmith in ur area, in case of acid bath.
Magnum
March 18, 18:08You aint gat no issues mate. You aint gat none! When u gat ur face burnt from acid, then we’d come sort u! ?