Dear KD: First We Were Friends, Then We Weren’t

Dear KD: First We Were Friends, Then We Weren’t

This story that I am about to tell you is a story about a friend of mine.

For the sake of the story, let’s call him Caleb

From when I was little, I had known Caleb and we were inseparable because we both could sing and we were singing together to the extent that our parents got to know about our friendship and encouraged it.

Then, at sometime a few years ago, Caleb’s family changed churches and we weren’t seeing each other as often as we used to. This caused us to gradually drifting apart; even though we were still in contact, we weren’t as close as we once were, when we practically did everything together.

When I was 12, I discovered my interest in guys and at the time, I was afraid of speaking it out loud, because I was understandably afraid of what people would say or how they’d react. It became my secret. But I suspected Caleb knew because he would always come up to me and hug me and spank my ass, even flirting with me sometimes.

Predictably, I began to develop feelings for him because of this. I was also sure he had feelings for me, but no matter how long I waited and hoped, he never said anything to me.

The years passed with me wondering when he would tell me he cared for me as I cared for him.

Finally, some months ago, I decided to act on my feelings. I created a Facebook catfish account and sent Caleb a friend request. He accepted it. I chatted him up and he was responsive.

Then I asked him if he was gay, stating that I would love to be his friend.

For a week, even though it showed that he’d read my message, he didn’t reply. And then he replied. He sent me a reply with the words that was my actual names. He told me furiously that he knows it’s me on the other end and that we are no longer friends.

Then he proceeded to not only block that catfish account but my actual account and all other social media connections we had. And I was left reeling with the realization that I had destroyed our friendship.

And every single day since this happened in December last year, my misery has eaten away at me. I feel very bad over what I did. And I just want to know if what I did was wrong and if there is anything I can do to repair our friendship. I need your advice, guys.

Submitted by Gabby

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4 Comments

  1. Black Dynasty
    November 14, 09:04 Reply

    “And I just want to know if what I did was wrong”
    As you’re still asking this, then there might be little to no hope of mending the friendship.

    What you did was messy and an unnecessary break of trust in my view. I too would block and delete with no regrets if i found out my friend tried to catfish me whilst trying to get private information from me, zero patience for cowardly behaviour.

  2. Head Bitch In Charge (HBIC)
    November 14, 09:38 Reply

    Oh please, forget him. Don’t waste your time. We don’t live in a society where it’s okay to be out, neither were most people here brought up to think this lifestyle is okay. What you did is not strange or something that hasn’t been done before. Your intentions were not bad. You were not trying to out anyone, you were trying to see if he felt the same way you did. If that friendship has ended, let it pass and move on. There are other friendships in the sea.

  3. IBK
    November 14, 18:21 Reply

    I will hazard a guess you’re still relatively young and if you are consider this a teachable moment. I understand the fear of rejection and all but it is almost always better to be direct with your questions and communication in general. what you did was wrong because of the reasons mentioned by the first commenter.

    This might no longer be fixable but it’s an avenue to be direct. Apologize sincerely to him if you can in a non intrusive way and move on from him.

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