KD’s Fashion Police: The 67th Primetime Emmy Awards

KD’s Fashion Police: The 67th Primetime Emmy Awards

Hello boys (er…and girls), anybody miss me?

It was the Emmys on Sunday, and I wanted to see the red carpet looks. Now the Emmys is not where you go for ground breaking fashion, because let’s face it, TV stars are lower than the movie stars on the food chain, and also because the Emmys hold outside of the Hollywood award season and the designers are often tired from the main award season and give you whatever they have left.

Meanwhile, I literally screamed when Viola Davis was announced winner. But this post is not about the shows that won (let’s leave that to Deola, shall we?). And let’s dive right into the fashion…pun intended.

Emmys SofiaSophia Vergara

Bow down, bitches! *sprays insecticide*

Sophia knows what works for her and sticks to it. Some people may say that she does this silhouette all the time, and that would be true somewhat. But hey, why change something when it works? It was almost as if she was melted and poured into the dress, and with Joe Mange-whatever on her arm? I died of envy! Some women do have it all.

Emmys Kerry Christina EmmaKerry Washington

She is a fashion girl, a risk taker, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. This was an epic fail. She looks like a peahen going to prom. The length of the dress is matronly, it’s almost as if the designer was confused as to what to do and then slapped a ton of appliqué on the dress. The dress looks like an exhibit in a rape case! Sorry Olivia, but this fell flat on its face.

Christina Hendricks

This is how I will dress if my mother-in-law died and I had to pretend to mourn her at the funeral. This dress does nothing for her beautiful figure; it completely swallows her. NEXT!

Emma Roberts

This was one of my best dresses of the night, if it was worn by another woman, someone darker, or at least not as pale as her. This dress completely washes her out. She looks like she was smeared with bronzer alone and sent down the carpet.

Emmys HeidiHeidi Klum

I saw her and I wondered whether Sesame Street was still airing and Big Bird was nominated in a category, and so obviously came to the Emmys. I however looked closely and realized it was Heidi and I was shocked. She looked hideous and fell flat on her style face. There is nothing good to say about this dress whatsoever. She should trash it and fire the stylist who did this to her.

Emmys ViolaViola Davis

First of all, let me say that I was rooting for Viola to win. The acting she delivered as Annalise Keating in the Season 1 of HTGAWM was A-game, and I love that she made Emmys history. Her style however leaves a lot to be desired.

I love natural hair, so I’m going to pretend that I cannot see her hair which looked like a worn-out toilet brush. Then the dress is confusing, more confusing than when I was trying to figure out who killed Lila Stangard. I mean, this was supposed to be an a-line cut, right? So, what was happening in the hip area? Plus, as much as I love white on the red carpet, I’m not big on the fabric of this dress. It sort of looks like her pubic hair was spreading out. I will give her A for effort though. And A for that speech. As for her style… Let’s leave that matter please.

Emmys SarahSarah Hyland

Amazing! Bravo! Wow!

Ordinarily this dress would have aged her, but the drama at the back keeps it fresh. This girl is a damsel after my fashion heart and always leaves me nodding in approval. Nne, jisie ike!

Emmys SamiraSamira Wiley

One word: QUEEN!

I want to bow down and worship her!

End of discussion

Emmys TarajiTaraji P. Henson

A lot of people were wowed by her look, but to me, it was underwhelming. She just looks okay, which is sad because she was a frontrunner for the category she was nominated, and I expected her to bring her A-game. No, Cookie, this doesn’t work for me.

Emmys Julie Gaga MaggieJulie Bowen

I am in love with this look. The long black dress can easily become boring, but just take a look at the shoulder. This dress is gorg! Her styling is also top notch; the earrings, jewelry and her face – they’re all glowing. My bet is that she had an orgasm just before the Emmys.

Lady Gaga

Mother monster brought it! When I heard she was going to be there, I was as usual expecting her to show up looking like a piece of modern art. She however looks refreshing and freaking amazing when she dresses like a real person. Her pale skin works very well with black, and she still introduced elements of her style with the cascading style.

I love this! Shall we start an online petition that she begins to dress more like a human, please!

Maggie Gyllenhaal

She looks like she is going to prom to hit on teenage boys. I am not wowed by this look, and I cannot get over the tacky waist detailing.

Emmys Laverne Taryn DanielleLaverne Cox

I love color! She brought color and I am nodding in approval. This dress walks the very thin line between classy and slutty, but I think it tipped into classy with those strategically placed cut-outs. She looked really good!

Taryn Manning

She must have been a bat in a previous life, because I cannot for the life of me figure out what she is wearing. Is she learning to fly? Or is she a shape-shifter caught on camera just as she was about to turn into a raven? *sigh*

Look at the stitching sef; was this dress made by a carpenter? Hell to da no!

Danielle Brooks

She looks like a huge float at a Gay Pride parade, key word being huge! The dress is so tight that her armpits are like squeezed amala! Meanwhile, does she have stretch marks? Girl, really? In Hollywood? Ngwa, Bye! *in Chi Gurl’s voice*

Emmys MarioMario Lopez

Let me lick every drop of that sweat please!

Emmys Giuliana UzoGiuliana Rancic

She does look good somewhat, but the truth about her is that NOTHING WORKS ON GIULIANA. It’s not about the dress – it’s her! There is something that she lacks and she’d always look like a dork to me. I am sorry, but that’s how I feel.

Uzo Aduba

She looks like one of our very own James’s paintings! I think I will pass, thank you very much!

Nazanin Boniadi

She looks like she had a stroke and her right hand was paralyzed, and so it hangs limply. Is this supposed to be fashion? God is watching some of these designers o!

Emmys nolan-gould-rico-rodriguezRico Rodriguez and Nolan Gould

Oh look, it’s a young lesbian couple!

67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - ArrivalsJaimie Alexander

She went to a club, stole the disco lights and made a dress out of them. I feel like I need shades to look at her.

Emmys FelicityFelicity Huffman

Michelle Obama wore the red version of this dress to the second inaugural ball, so this is a very good choice. She looks really fit and happy and the color is great for her.

Emmys january-jones-emmys-red-carpet-2015January Jones

She is a fashion girl who pushes the envelope the right way, just like Diane Kruger. This is a fresh take on the jump suit and I am nodding in approval. Great color too and that brooch just killed me.

Emmys amy-schumer-emmy-awardsAmy Schumer

She is smiling because she ate all the cake, candy and chocolate at the event, and now her dress is threatening to rip.

Emmys JessicaJessica Pare

I don’t know who she is but she nailed it! Best dressed 100%.

The dress did all the talking, so she kept everything to a minimum. The color is gorgeous and complements her skin, and the detailing in front killed me!

This girl is perfection!

And that’s it from me. Let us know your thoughts on the red carpet moments of the Primetime Emmys.

Written by John Ocean

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34 Comments

    • Mandy
      September 23, 06:13 Reply

      About Taryn… ‘Is she learning to fly? Or is she a shape-shifter caught on camera just as she was about to turn into a raven?’
      Hahahahahahahahahaa…

  1. Ace
    September 23, 06:38 Reply

    John ocean! Lol! Funny as hell.

  2. Jon Snow
    September 23, 07:20 Reply

    Some people have no chill sha ???

  3. KryxxX
    September 23, 08:04 Reply

    Yes! Viola’s dress is actually an A-line cut dress! But hers is one were d “A” gets to start from d hips, could be called a “low hip” dress. Works for those with full(or slightly) hips who still wants to flaunt what they have nd still rock a slightly ball look. My only ish is just the shoulder area, d singlet look is a huge NO!

    As for Gee-Gee, cut the gal some slacks! She has cancer! Her body can never b same again except a miracle happens! We dont want her all locked up indoors nd all! She has a great personality nd that dress looks good on her!

    As for the other ppl, they just dont look wow enough for a red carpet! And please, Sophia can rock her mermaid dress even to her grave but enough with this her shades of silver thingy joor! She rocks it on almost all her red carpets! We r tired!

  4. KryxxX
    September 23, 08:20 Reply

    And Christina Hendricks actually looks like a witch going for their annual coven conference nd decided to drop by on her way over! She looks hideous! She should get her Glam squad arrested, sued for breach of contract nd shipped to kirikiri for rebranding courses! ????????If only Joan was alive, she would cook party rice on this matter! Even the face looks like what a cat dragged in!

  5. JoshDeity
    September 23, 09:16 Reply

    JO, I’m falling in love with your powers of description. The way you see with your mind’s eye is exciting and evil at the same time.
    The comment about Kerry Washington is so true, even though I think you have something against her.
    As a stand-alone, Nazanin Boniadi’s dress is gorg…

  6. sinnex
    September 23, 11:02 Reply

    Let me pretend that I know most of the people you are talking about.

    Biko, is it the same television we watch or what? How do you guys cope? I just know Viola Davies and that guy in True Blood.

    • KryxxX
      September 23, 11:37 Reply

      Lol!

      Oh Sinnex! Smh! You r just something else. U mustn’t know everybody on that list to pick out a dress u feel is ur fav or not. Or better still, you plead d fifth or do “hmmn” like some brothers in here do.

      **In Cassie’s voice** (Cos) You got a long way to go………….

      • kacee
        September 23, 11:45 Reply

        kryxxx u’re one funny person LMAO.

      • Sinnex
        September 23, 11:55 Reply

        o’boi, I don’t even want to go there sef. Most of them look funny and annoying. I still don’t know how someone would sit down and analyse what happened in a faraway country. Most especially analysing what they wore as if you are preparing for an exam.

      • PereZ
        September 24, 16:31 Reply

        Hahahahaha…. Evil kryxxx

  7. kacee
    September 23, 11:43 Reply

    Sophia Vergara is so yum yum with hips and boobs like that(I so hate her accent), omg John Ocean u’re so right about Heidi Klum lol.
    Sarah Hyland looks so beautiful, Samira Wiley is sooooooo *crys* BEAUTIFUL. WTF is Taryn Manning putting on.
    Mario Lopez, wait is that sweat omg yuck yuck(i love his killer dimple).
    what in the lord’s name is Uzo Aduba wearing noooooo(what was she thinking omg nooo) Felicity Huffman’s hair looks like a coconut tree lol Jaimie Alexander ur so wicked John Ocean

  8. Chizzie
    September 23, 12:30 Reply

    I just want to grab Viola Davis, give her a Dettol laced bath and force feed her glutathione pills. She’s an amazing actress and I’m glad she won but does she have to look so unsanitary all the time?

    • #FlyOnTheWall
      September 23, 13:33 Reply

      There is nothing unsanitary about dark skin, dark skin is beautiful.

      Glutathione? Really? You think everybody has your insecurities? And that they will resort to skin lightening like you do?

      Shame on you!

    • Max
      September 23, 14:46 Reply

      Lmfao ???? @Chizzie. Its so so true. I cringe each time I see her on the red carpet. She always looks dirty(the black is too much), you could mine crude oil from her skin if you know where to drill.
      She’s an amazing actress though.. But she “looks” dirty at the red carpet . Lupita falls into that category too.

      • KryxxX
        September 23, 16:25 Reply

        Seriously Max?!
        Seriously? Her black is too much? Really? I never knew skin colour could be too much, or does it apply only to blacks? Patiently waiting for same remark on a white individual.

        Nothing we won’t hear on KD! For someone who is one stroke from being “too black”, I expected better! At least she is true to herself nd hasn’t joined d band wagon of toners international!

        • Max
          September 23, 18:09 Reply

          Lol @Kryxxx, That’s my observation. I said she “in parenthesis” “looks” dirty. I didn’t say she’s dirty, but that’s just the way she looks. And also I never said that black is bad. I said her black is “too much”. I say that to my friends too. Stop trying to stir dust where there’s none. Such rich comments coming from you, seeing you always alter your pics to appear lighter. I’ve seen ur IG pics. So pls gerrarahia and stop being annoyingly politically correct.

          She fucking ” looks” dirty!!!

      • Pink Panther
        September 24, 04:50 Reply

        Max, I’m thoroughly shocked by your comment. Are you frigging serious? ‘The black is too much’? Wow. So in addition to your impressive collection of prejudices (against those who sleep around and those who are fat, we should add dark-skin shaming as well.

        • Max
          September 24, 05:25 Reply

          Its not shaming honey.. Get your head outta that dark place it’s going.

          • Pink Panther
            September 24, 05:51 Reply

            No, of course not. It’s just you stating your opinion, right? That anyone who happens to be very dark-skinned (something they’re born with) is just too dirty. Sound familiar to you, that line of reasoning? Remember how homophobes say you as a gay man is dirty for what you do in the bedroom? I know you will never see anything wrong with what you said. Historically here on KD, you never put up an opinion and see the error in it. but just understand that what you said is the factor that contributes to dark-skinned people’s insecurities worldwide. Remember that the next time you want to slam Lupita or Viola Davis.

            • Mandy
              September 24, 05:57 Reply

              The funny thing is, he’s dark-kinned himself. But apparently, there are shades of dark complexion that is clean and some others that are dirty. *shaking head*

              • Max
                September 24, 10:05 Reply

                Yes Mandy, there are shades of black.. Some look dirty and some don’t.

                • Mandy
                  September 24, 10:46 Reply

                  And I suppose God is the jerk who deliberately gave some people dirty complexions and others clean ones, yea? That’s a very despicable opinion. It’s a relief you’re homosexual. If you were heterosexual, you’d be one of the worst homophobes ever. Tufia!

            • Max
              September 24, 10:04 Reply

              I’m not interested in explaining myself to you. If you can’t understand what I said, then by all means, carry the weight of whatever it is you’re feeling on your head.

              • Pink Panther
                September 24, 10:35 Reply

                I’m carrying no weight. Don’t flatter yourself. Your prejudices are entirely on you. I don’t even want your explanation. It won’t do me any good. I simply showed you up to your twisted opinion and left it at that. What you do with it is your business.

  9. PereZ
    September 24, 16:41 Reply

    this is what happens when you feel you can lash out your opinions without taking a step back to ruminate on it.
    Clean black ooh, Dirty black ooh. Dark skin is dark skin.
    There’s the battle between whites and blacks. Then the one of dark skin against light skin. Now there are now 50 shades of dark skin

    Only on KD can this be heard.
    Sadly, Viola Davis and Lupita Nyong’ O don’t give two twerking fucks about your opinion, because it’s this “dirty black” skin that makes them unique .

  10. PereZ
    September 24, 16:45 Reply

    The heart of men is just evil… Couldn’t someone have told Danielle Brooks to cover up her shoulders. And I’m so sure everyone around her would go “oh the dress is so beautiful “….

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